It’s weird how ripples keep on rippling. The adoption of the terms and ideas we became familiar with during the lead-up to the September Question into the lying hypocrisy of the run-up to a UK general election is so blatant, uncomfortable and perverse that, were it a real adoption, you’d have to be concerned about the welfare of the child.
All the Westminster Party leaders have been so keen to talk about a “fairer society” that the sincerity on their privileged little faces is etched on every well-positioned camera on every news channel for all to see. If their party policies had even a hint of the same concern, then we probably wouldn’t be in this situation.
One day, maybe, a historian will line up the quotes of Salmond, Sturgeon and Sheridan in the weeks before The Event, and the quotes of Cameron, Miliband and Clegg in the months after, and a question of whether it was recycling or just plain theft will arise.
The problem the Westminster Party leaders face is that nobody believes them. People in England know they’re liars – they saw the lies told to us, and they’re seeing the lies told to them. People in Wales know it – they’ve been told the same lies longer than Scotland has, and with even more condescension. Both sides of “the community” in Northern Ireland are awake to the fact the Westminster just lies and lies and lies, depending on who they’re talking to, and what they want from them.
Little wonder – by culture, by tradition, by stealth and by sheer design, Westminster only ever has looked for us to believe their lies while they fleece us. Even now, Gordon Brown is trying to paint himself as some sort of patriot by struggling against the Bond henchman that is William Hague. It all looks as choreographed as Riverdance. They must think we’re stupid.
At least Scotland has alternatives in the SNP, the SSP, the Scottish Greens. Wales has Plaid Cymru. Northern Ireland has the DUP and the SDLP and Sinn Fein and the UUP. Poor England (and I do mean poor England) is left with UK*P.
To be clear, everything about UK*P is loathsome, from the implied ker-ching bribe of their stupid poundland logo to the tacky Imperial-purple and Royal-gold of their colours, and especially the flabby wrinkled faces of the old men that this supposed radical new force presents to the public and, much more, to the ever-suckling media. The only thing that prevents anyone loathing each of their policies is the fact that they seem to have no policies. “We’ll tell Johnny European to naff off and then we’ll re-conquer the Empire, somehow, and make sure nobody from abroad gets past Calais” is not a policy. It’s a wish-list from the senile deathbed of an insane old Tory.
It’s difficult to do anything but feel pity for their supporters, though. What sort of despair and desperation must you feel to look at F*rage and become inspired? Who would listen to Godfrey Bloom and think “He’s got it – he’s right”? Lord Monckton – LORD Monckton – thinks everyone in Scotland whinges like a bagpipe while waiting for their next subsidy. The doctors, the lawyers, the entrepreneurs, the businesspeople, all the professionals – all whingeing, en masse, like a bagpipe. What kind of moron would a person have to be to actually vote for anyone who has the same opinions as such a demented clown?
And yet – they have an MP. One, for now. An elected deputy of the state. The British Union of Fascists never got that. The downtrodden poor of England, who’ve rejected far-right crackpots for decades are having those same crackpots foisted upon them by a media which seems to be in the grip of some sort of UK*P mania. Of course they’re going to fall for it – each person has entire departments of the BBC and the Daily Mail dead-set on convincing them that the future’s (b)right – the future’s F*rage.
As Johnny Rotten shouted, there is no future in England’s dreaming. There certainly is no future for Scotland in UK*P’s dreaming. There’s definitely no future in a party so obsessed with past glories and perceived past purities and, more than anything, how to regain them. It’s like watching someone who used to be very rich and very successful making lists and plotting revenge on everyone they think was responsible for their downfall, either not realising or not caring that they were responsible alone.
Still… they are, more or less, England’s only version of alternative politics. This is all England has – the only change from proven cheats and thieves they’re being told they can make. Cameron, Clegg and Miliband, or F*rage. It’s hard not to feel sorry for England, given such poor options, and it’s even possible to see how some down South might prefer F*rage to the three leaders of the Westminster Party.
Like all of Britain seems set to do, we get to reject Westminster too, but we can reject them by embracing the poor and the unfortunate, and ridding ourselves of the cost of the expenses-junkies (F*rage himself had claimed £2m in expenses by 2009, incidentally), not the other way round.
UK*P isn’t an answer; we all know that, but until the electorate of England has had time to consider what independence actually means, UK*P is what they’re stuck with, poor souls. F*rage wants to be Minister for Europe. Try to picture that.
Our nationalism is an aspirational nationalism. Their independence is a fictional independence. They seek to cut ties with other nations. We seek to build them. They want separation, we long for integration. They’re going right. We’re going left. They’re going wrong. We’re going just fine the way we’re going, thank you very much.
It’s not true to say our enemy’s enemy is our friend, but it is true to say that our enemy’s enemy can be used as a good argument as to just what’s wrong with our enemy in the first place. Looking at UK*P, it’s easy to see what’s wrong with Westminster. Aren’t you glad we have an alternative worth fighting for in this country?
– Loxia Scotica